spiritual ceremony briefing

6:30pm — the briefing.

all the newbies get to sit around the table and listen to a tall belgian man brief on on the spiritual process.

you will be in near total darkness.  you will snort liquid tobacco, to clear the sinuses.  you will drink the potion.  try to keep it down as long as possible–it will be so disgusting that you will want to vomit immediately.  you will probably eventually vomit.  your process will begin.

four possibilities:

1) you will enter your own personal hell.  you will re-live all your traumas, and once you have been through hell, you will not feel any relief.  you face yourself–part of yourself–that can be very hard.

2) you will enter your own personal hell, and then you will feel a sort of relief, or enlightenment.

3) you will feel nothing, and you will be frustrated.  very upset.  this is the worst thing that generally happens.  (this you fear the most).

4) you feel euphoric.  everything, all the secrets of your life unfold themselves.

you will be offered a second cup.  perhaps a third.  if by the fourth, nothing happens, the medicine has chosen for you.  that is how it should be.

your own personal hell is boredom.  possibilities of 1-3 seem very real, then.

some people may be unable to take themselves to the toilet.  great.

6 minutes.  see you on the flip side.

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Categories: Awkward Situations, Illness, Ireland, Parties, Self-Improvement | 1 Comment

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One thought on “spiritual ceremony briefing

  1. Lorelei

    Don’t take anything internally unless you know what it is!

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